Many creative people report feeling incompetent, inadequate and having low self esteem or self-regard at times. But there are ways to shift those feelings.

A number of film actors report they don’t even watch their own movies.

When you can be seen in close-ups on twenty foot high theater screens, it may be especially hard not to criticize your appearance and performance.

That sort of criticism may be based on perfectionism, but also can be related to poor self-concept or fraud feelings.

Kate Winslet has admitted that before going off to a movie shoot, she sometimes thinks, “I’m a fraud, and they’re going to fire me… I’m fat; I’m ugly; I look like a whore! [laughs] [Interview mag., Nov, 2000]

[From my article Being Creative and Self-critical.]

Reese Witherspoon says, “I have absolute amnesia about every movie I have ever made. I won’t watch them because if I did I would spiral into a state of self-hate…” [wenn.com 21 Dec 2010]

Bill Nighy has commented, “You come to realise there is this huge disparity between what you think about yourself and your work and what other people think about you and your work, at first you either think they’re insane or that it’s a conspiracy to make you look stupid. Or maybe, just maybe, they’re right, and you’re sometimes quite good at what you do.”

Even someone as accomplished as Meryl Streep admits she has “varying degrees of confidence and self-loathing…. You can have a perfectly horrible day where you doubt your talent. It could be about not feeling able to achieve a certain scene or about an emotion you feel you weren’t able to get to… Or that you’re boring and they’re going to find out that you don’t know what you’re doing… any one of those things.”

[From the page Self-esteem / Self concept - which has a number of other quotes by actors.]

So what can you do about low self-esteem or self-confidence as an actor?

Developing yourself as a person and an actor, taking classes, getting into commercials or community theater or any performance work can help feelings of low self-esteem.

There are specific products and programs that can help.

The Self-Esteem Supercharger, a CD program from Learning Strategies can help enhance confidence.

According to the site, “Many professional and recreational athletes have found listening to the Self-Esteem Supercharger before a game or match improves their performance.”

Professional soccer player Michael Cestone says, “I had tried subliminal tapes with limited results, so I had to try the Paraliminals because they were different. I was desperately looking for something to help me prepare for the season. I noticed results immediately.

“The first time I used the tape I felt more focused and was able to read the game better, as well as make faster decisions. That was only the beginning.”

Learn more about The Self-Esteem Supercharger and other items in the section:
Self concept / self esteem Products and Programs.

> Also read more (and see video by Jack Canfield) about the Natural Confidence program by Morty Lefkoe.

Also see post: Impostor phenomenon: Gerard Butler – “Have I ever thought I was a fraud? Maybe 18 hours a day.”

Also see post: Building self-confidence: changing limiting beliefs and helping others.

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dealing with self-criticism, building self confidence, self esteem confidence, building self esteem, impostor feelings

“My life was crushed when they told me ‘No.’ But I was 17, it was a long time ago and rejection like that only makes you stronger, gets you asking — how can I better myself?” [thetvaddict.com]

On body image

[Have you noticed any pressure in Hollywood regarding your size?]

“I actually noticed it more when I was younger which is why I stopped, it was getting to my self-esteem. But once I learned I am not my dress size and to never let anyone put me in a box, I was more content with being myself and letting the world see my light shine.”

[Young, Fat, & Fabulous youngfatandfabulous.com]

Also see more quotes on Body image.

women and talent, women developing creativity, negative body image, acting and rejection

Acting in the final two “Potter” movies, and thinking about choosing college (maybe Columbia University), Emma Watson recently talked about criticism of her work as Hermione, and modulating her perfectionism.

“I will look back on this part of my life and I know it will be special, but it used to be that if I ever had a bad review or someone said, ‘Oh, she is too this,’ or ‘She’s too that,’ I got upset about it.

“Now what I have worked out is that it would actually be physically impossible to be perfect for everyone. Everyone has a distinct idea in their head of what each character is like.

“So I’ve kind of had to lower my standards. I can’t be perfect for everyone. J.K. ['Potter' author J.K. Rowling] thinks I’m perfect, and that’s good enough for me.”

[From Hero Complex blog post 'Harry Potter' countdown: Emma Watson still 'quite intimidated' by pal J.K. Rowling, by Geoff Boucher, LA Times, Jul 2 2009.]

Perfectionists and ‘greatists’

Director Jane Campion said about working with Nicole Kidman: “She can be quite murderously challenging in her perfectionism. Take Twenty: ‘Are you sure that’s good enough?’ We’re going, [wearily] ‘Yeah.’ ”

A number of talented and accomplished actors and other creative people are energized – or burdened – by this drive. Jennifer Connelly has admitted, “I am an obsessive-compulsive and a perfectionist. I don’t say it with pride.” And Bridget Fonda has said, “I’m afraid of making a mistake. I’m pretty neurotic about it.”

It’s also a matter of how you think of it. Director James Cameron refutes being labeled as a perfectionist: “No, I’m a greatist. I only want to do it until it’s great.”

The burden of being perfect

But a drive to be perfect can be an obsessive emotional force that helps fuel insecurity and dissatisfaction with your work, and undermines healthy self esteem. It can be part of why you “can’t stand” to watch your dailies or films – like Joaquin Phoenix and others. But that can keep you from learning more about and refining your performance.

Q’Orianka Kilcher [Pocahontas in "The New World"] says she has been a perfectionist “since she was little” but learned from Colin Farrell to let go of it: “He taught me acting wasn’t about being perfect. An actor should never take themselves too seriously. It took a burden off my shoulders.”

Emmy Rossum

Emmy Rossum [photo from "The Phantom of the Opera"] says that for her, being prepared for a role is crucial: “It’s not about control but perfectionism – my biggest vice and one of my biggest assets.”

Michelle Pfeiffer

That is a perspective shared by Michelle Pfeiffer: “I’m a perfectionist, so I can drive myself mad – and other people, too. At the same time, I think that’s one of the reasons I’m successful. Because I really care about what I do. I really want it to be right, and I want it to be good, and I don’t quit until I have to.”

Excellence is the prize

Linda Kreger Silverman, PhD, Director of the Gifted Development Center, says “Excellence is the hard-won prize of those whose zeal and dedication are fueled by the drive to attain perfection, as they envision it.”

But it’s a matter of balance, of using this need to “make it great” to refine yourself and your work, without being overwhelmed by it.

> Related pages:
Perfectionism
Perfectionism – articles books
article: Perfectionism – by Douglas Eby
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actors and perfectionism, dealing with perfectionism, overcoming perfectionism, demanding the best from yourself, striving for excellence

Ellen Page and Diablo Cody on taking risks

Ellen Page, to “Juno” screenwriter Diablo Cody: You have to take risks and go against conventional wisdom and structure. What was that like.

Diablo Cody: I guess I didn’t see the point of adding another conventional story to the pile; there are so many. I guess I would rather fail doing something off the wall, than succeed at something pedestrian. That’s my whole philosophy in life.

Ellen Page: If I don’t take a risk, I get really, really bored. And being challenged stems from taking a risk. …

Diablo Cody: Was there ever a time in your life when you were tempted to follow the traditional starlet route?

Ellen Page: No, not in the slightest. I’d rather be shot in the foot.

See more videos on Diablo Cody’s blog The Pussy Ranch, in the post Totally Spontaneous Chats.

There are different ways to risk, sometimes it can be a choice to pull back, not take an “obvious” path.

Sarah Polley on turning down a “star-maker role”

A few years ago, Sarah Polley made the decision to back out of a “star-maker role” in the film Almost Famous (which was then played by Kate Hudson).

“I don’t believe in conspiracy theories,” Polley commented, “and I don’t believe Hollywood is as organized or as paranoid as people believe, but there are certain roles where it’s all sort of mapped out and pre-determined. This was one of them. And at the last second I pulled back.”

She continued, “I think those moments where you decide not to do something, in the face of nobody understanding that decision, are the moments that form you, that carve you out. It will always be a part of who I am, that I did that.” [From the page Acting : teen/young adult 3]
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compromising yourself, building identity, personal development acting, creative risks

“Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this; I’m a fraud. They’re going to fire me — all these things. I’m fat; I’m ugly…”

Those admissions by Kate Winslet [Interview mag. Nov 2000] were made after her Academy Award nominations for Titanic (1997) and Sense and Sensibility (1995).

Those kinds of impostor feelings are shared by a wide range of highly talented people, including many actors.

Michelle Pfeiffer said (in 2002) “I still think people will find out that I’m really not very talented. I’m really not very good. It’s all been a big sham.”

Nicole Kidman has said she often thinks, “They’re going to look at me to fire me.” And Don Cheadle said, “All I can see [in his performances in movies] is everything I’m doing wrong that is a sham and a fraud.”

Actor Stacey Jackson, in her Backstage/Unscripted article Doubts, notes that “A healthy dose of self-doubt isn’t always a bad thing. Ask your parents and friends if they have doubts about their professional abilities, and I’m sure the honest ones will say, ‘yes.’

“It seems silly now, but until recently, I thought that I was the only one who questioned my abilities. But teachers, consultants, lawyers, writers, doctors, you name it, they all have doubts at various points in their careers. Even brilliant actors doubt their talent.”

Doubt can keep us diligent

But, Jackson notes, “Doubts keep us diligent. Without doubt, I probably wouldn’t keep studying my craft and striving for better work. Fear of failure is a great motivator and it keeps our actor egos in check… doubt and passion is a powerful combination. It’s the mark of a determined actor.”

There are probably a number of personality traits that impact our self-doubt and feelings of being a fraud, such as perfectionism, holding very high standards for yourself and your work.

A number of years ago, speaking of Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow said, “I think Matt places so much importance on being an artist or a good actor, and he’ll really beat himself up to get there. You always feel like he’s feeling: ‘I don’t deserve this.’”

And Damon admitted, “I just never know if I’m going to pull it off. I have terrible, grave concerns about my own ability.”

Some feel they owe their success to others

In her article The Impostor Syndrome, Dr. Valerie Young explains the concept of the Impostor Syndrome was developed by psychology professor Pauline Clance and psychologist Suzanne Imes in a study called The Impostor Phenomenon Among High Achieving Women (1978).

“In a nutshell,” Young writes, “Clance and Imes found that many of their female clients seemed unable to internalize their accomplishments. External proof of intelligence and ability in the form of academic excellence, degrees, recognition, promotions and the like was routinely dismissed.

“Instead, success was attributed to contacts, luck, timing, perseverance, personality or otherwise having ‘fooled’ others into thinking they were smarter and more capable than these women ‘knew’ themselves to be.

“Rather than offering assurance, each new achievement and subsequent challenge only served to intensify the ever-present fear of being… Found Out.”

Cognitive challenges can limit fraud feelings

One way to deal with fraud feelings, if it becomes too self-limiting, is to use a cognitive therapy strategy of “questioning the evidence”: Would a producer of director really make such an important business decision as casting based merely on your looks, with no consideration of your acting ability? Do your peers really make comments about your work that imply you are a fake?

There may also be deeper issues of self-esteem or fear of success that can help make us feel like a fraud. But all that kind of stuff can be improved with counseling, or just life experience and greater self-awareness.

Related Talent Development Resources pages:
Impostor syndrome
Impostor syndrome 2: articles books
Self-esteem / self concept
Self-esteem/concept sites books
Self concept / self esteem articles
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imposter phenomenon, acting self esteem, self-esteem book, self esteem builders

“You can’t be yourself because you’re always being judged.”

That is a line from “Ellie Parker” about an actress trying to get a start in Los Angeles, played by Naomi Watts, who also produced the film.

That sort of uncertainty of identity and insecurity affects many artists on the way to establishing themselves, but may be especially intense for actors who need to keep recreating who they are in auditions and roles.

Naomi Watts commented about the authenticity of the film in an interview article [Art Imitates Life for Watt's Ellie Parker, by Paul Fischer], noting that Scott Coffey, the film’s director was, like Watts herself, “a struggling actor for many years as well and he’d gone through years of those horrible auditions, losing your dignity and being told who you are and believing it because of your self-esteem levels.”

Acting is addictive

But, she admits, “You can’t give it up.” Watts says that what makes acting so addictive is “because you love what you do. It’s the creative thing that when you’re actually acting, between action and cut, THAT is fun, or even in the drama class or whatever forum you’re doing it in.

“It’s the other stuff that’s horrible — the exposing yourself,” referring to the often debilitating audition process that she embarked upon for almost a decade prior to her attention-grabbing role in Mulholland Drive.

“That’s what Ellie Parker is more about,” she adds, “not just about the acting experiences, auditions, managers, agents and stuff, but about a young woman who is putting too much emphasis on other people’s opinions of herself, and therefore wrapping up her own identity in these people who couldn’t possibly know who she was. So that struggle for integrity and identity is more of what we were trying to say.”

Ellie Parker

This is the movie they should show in college acting classes

Film critic Roger Ebert was enthusiastic about how real and meaningful the film is. In his review, he said: “This is the movie they should show in college acting classes, instead of tapes of ‘Inside the Actors’ Studio.’ It is about auditioning for an idiotic Southern Gothic soap opera and then changing your makeup and accent in the car on your way to audition as a hooker in a soft-core sex film.

“About trying to impress a group of ‘producers’ who are so stoned they don’t have a sober brain cell to pass from hand to hand around the room. About suspecting that the only thing worse than not getting the job would be to get it.

“About being broke. About depending on your friends, who are your friends because they depend on you. About lying to the folks back home. About going to clubs to be ‘seen’ and getting so wasted you hope no one saw you…

“And it is about having to be smart, talented, beautiful, determined and, yes, lucky, just to get to this point in your career.”

“You’re too intense”

In an article in Interview magazine (Dec/Jan 2004), she commented :

“Mulholland Drive (2001) was in the can at that point. I was pretty sure it was good and would make some noise, but I wasn’t trusting my instincts because I’d been through that before.

“So my agents were continuing to send me out for pilots. I had no money, no health insurance, and I was going on all these auditions for things I didn’t believe in but that I was desperate for because I needed the work.

“As a result, I was shaky and intense and nervous and laughing or smiling too much, and I was making people uncomfortable. It was awkward.

“So my then agent called me in and… said, ‘Honey, you’re a great actress and I believe in you, so I took it on myself to ask these people what’s going on because you should be working. They’re saying that you’re too intense, that you want it too much.’

“In retrospect, all those disappointments were the perfect thing because if I’d gotten one of those parts I’d auditioned for, I would probably still be on some TV series today. I wouldn’t have had the freedom to pursue the things I’ve been able to do over the past few years.”

Related pages:
Identity
Self-esteem / self concept
Highly Sensitive site

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building identity, acting self esteem, acting passion, integrity in art

Nervous excitement

“With any film and even theater, you never get over being scared and overwhelmed, because it’s a new character and that brings on a whole new set of circumstances.”

Alison Lohman is talking about one form of anxiety that actors experience, and may try to avoid or stifle.

But there can be value in that kind of energy, she adds: “That’s the exciting part of it – it’s those nerves that bring you to a higher level and makes you more hyper-aware. It makes your performance better.” [Quotes from Hollywood Reporter]

Anticipatory anxiety

Psychologist Eric Maisel notes in his book Performance Anxiety that fear can show up even before an event like an audition, and this anticipatory anxiety may be hidden, so you don’t even recognize it.

You decide, for example, not to go to the audition, telling yourself, “Oh, I’m not right for that role,” or “I’m sure that part’s pre-cast,” or “That director’s never liked me.”

You’re as worthy as they come

As many people point out, acting is not for the faint-hearted.

Author Monroe Mann [book: The Theatrical Juggernaut: The Psyche of the Star] says, “If you want to succeed in this business where the supply for actors is high and the demand is low, you better get any trace of negativity or pessimism out of your system from the outset…

“If you don’t think you are just as good, and just as worthy of success, as the stars, then you are doing yourself a grave disservice.”

Varieties of treatments

Anxiety can show up in various ways; it is not just a matter of stage fright, and it can undermine your self-concept, self assurance and drive.

If it is too strong, maybe you should look into getting help: cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, or nutritional supplements can all be helpful.

Related pages:
Anxiety relief products/programs
Anxiety relief books
Supplements
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acting book, anxiety products, performance anxiety book, entertainment psychology

A recent newspaper interview [Shedding the wings, by Amy Kaufman, Los Angeles Times, July 9, 2007; photo: Myung J. Chun] notes that “she wants to major in something ‘basic, like English,’ rather than garnering further training in the arts.”

“I didn’t like being around that competitive energy that comes with that,” she says of one summer spent in an acting class. “All those musical theater kids that think they’re gonna be the next Kristin Chenoweth.

“They’d sit there and they’d prep their songs endlessly with so much thought. I just knew what my song was about and I came in and sang it, and the teacher went, ‘That’s what you all should be doing, right there.’ And I didn’t outline the song or this and that. You just have to stop thinking sometimes.”

That perception was also articulated by Jennifer Lehman, a film acting teacher, consultant and scriptwriter, in our interview: “Our thinking mind is different than our feeling mind, and if we start thinking, we shut down creative expression – for actors, anyway.”

Lehman thinks a creative experience “is a very full experience, multidimensional. But if you’re making a mental choice about something, then your experience becomes limited to only that. A creative experience has many layers all at the same time. If you’re trying to juggle a bunch of ideas, it’s going to limit your availability to feeling states.”

Related page: Awareness – thinking
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overthinking creativity, competition between actors, entertainment psychology, creative experience characteristics

“I did other things for money; you know, the normal, boring stuff – I temped, I did waitressing.

“But I actually quit a play early on in my career – it was one of the first things that I ever got cast in, but I quit because there was something about it that I didn’t like.

“I didn’t think the director was the right guy to be directing it. So I’ve never felt that every situation was great for me and therefore I would have to stay.

“To me, being creative is a very fragile thing, the environment in which one can create is a very particular one, and somehow I’ve always felt the need to be very protective of that….”

She thinks you need to acknowledge the fickle nature of the profession: “Actors are beggars and gypsies, that’s just the way it is. And in many ways, I take what I can get. But I do search high and low for stuff that interests me.” [quotes from imdb.com]
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Holly Hunter, integrity in art, developing creativity, high sensitivity personality

“I like the road toward excellence. I like that it requires work. Everyday work. And it’s fulfilling to reach a goal of being as good as you can possibly be. And to push yourself.”

Shue’s husband, Oscar-winning documentarian Davis Guggenheim (”An Inconvenient Truth”), directed her new film “Gracie,” and comments about the loss of her brother in 1988 when she was 24: “I don’t think you can continue after that and live on the surface.

“What it means is that she can suddenly, as an actress, dig a whole lot deeper. Boy, when you see [her Oscar-nominated role in] ‘Leaving Las Vegas,’ you saw a woman who dug very deep and was not afraid to live in the depths of a really dark world and then find beauty out of it.”

Continued on Talent Development Resources
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Elisabeth Shue, personal development acting, demand the best from yourself, acting passion