Shy since childhood

Clea DuVall has referred to herself as “an only child and I’m just a real loner kind of person, and yeah, kinda dark. But I’m happy. Not sad. I’m just shy and nervous.” [imdb.com]

Like many other talented actors, she considers herself shy. Maybe acting – playing other people – is a way to use that trait, or deal with it.

Mischa Barton said she was always called “the shy one” and “got so much more confident as I realized acting was what I really wanted to do.”

Kim Basinger has said, “As a child, I was very shy. Painfully, excruciatingly shy. I hid a lot in my room. I was so terrified to read out loud in school that I had to have my mother ask my reading teacher not to call on me in class.”

Nicole Kidman has said, “I am very shy – really shy – I even had a stutter as a kid, which I slowly got over, but I still regress into that shyness. So I don’t like walking into a crowded restaurant by myself; I don’t like going to a party by myself.”

Taye Diggs says he has been acting for as long as he has been shy, and has an interesting perspective on using acting: “I wouldn’t say my insecurities and shyness have lessened just because of expressing myself through acting, but what has a role in my becoming more confident is the kind of false sense of adoration you get from the business… because I was so insecure, it gives me a reason to be a little more confident.” [From my interview with him years ago.]

Giftedness and introversion

Shyness may be related to low confidence, or to introversion, a common personality trait of many gifted and talented people. While acting may be a way to gain confidence, some people find it helpful to get counseling, or explore if they have social phobia or some other kind of anxiety that may keep them from being authentic and freely expressive on stage or on camera.

> Related post on my Highly Sensitive site: Shyness and sensitivity – working it out on stage or off

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“Many actors get anxious about auditions, not getting work etc, issues that are kind of built in to the profession – do you have actor or performer clients that you have helped?”

Here is part of her reply about a non-drug, brief (3′) meditation to deal with anxiety

To listen to the full podcast, see Judith Orloff, MD on Emotional Freedom

anxiety books, anxiety and acting, dealing with stage fright, performance anxiety book

“It’s important to present oneself as relaxed and confident..”

Gabriel Byrne commented that the audition process “is really a most inadequate way to determine if an actor is right or not for a particular role. Unfortunately, it’s a situation that most actors have to accept.

“Work on developing an unshakable trust in yourself and your talent. It’s important to present oneself as relaxed and confident even when you don’t feel it.”

From the book: How to Get the Part… Without Falling Apart! by Margie Haber

Quote from the page Acting3
More Books: acting
Photo from “In Treatment.”

Too much of a good thing

In her LAcasting.com article Relax into acting, Colleen Wainwright notes, “It’s great to have a little fire in your belly. But if you’re reading this, my guess is that your problem, if you have one, lies in the other direction. Because too much ambition, ferocity, gung-ho-ness is death to good acting, bad for the health, and not particularly attractive in an audition situation either.”

She adds, “We’ve all seen it: that high-strung actor who’s so intent on saying his next line, he’s barely listening for his cue. Or maybe (ahem) you’ve actually been that person on stage, having a scene go by you in a blur, kicking yourself for letting the scene play you instead of the other way around.

“For the speed-meisters, the simplest, easiest ‘hack’ to help you regain control of yourself in the moment is literally to stop yourself ever so briefly before responding in a scene. Take a beat and take in your partner, or, if it’s a monologue, the situation; let yourself check in with how you’re feeling and how your partner is feeling before moving on.

See her article for more suggestions.

Intensity vs anxiety

It isn’t that high energy is “wrong” – it is sometimes called intensity or excitability. Giftedness consultant Lesley Sword describes this in her article Overexcitabilities in Gifted Children as “an abundance of physical, sensual, creative, intellectual and emotional energy that can result in creative endeavours as well as advanced emotional and ethical development in adulthood. Overexcitabilities feed, enrich, empower and amplify talent.”

But there seems to be an enduring mythology about creative inspiration and performing as an actor, for example, that it benefits from an “edge” of nervous tension or even anxiety.

Creativity coach and author Eric Maisel, PhD comments in our interview Ten Zen Seconds (about his new book) that this really is a false and distorting idea: “It isn’t at all clear that tension or anxiety is what’s needed for peak performance and lifelong creativity,” he says.

“They may be unavoidable by-products of the difficulties that we face as we try to do large things and connected to our fear of failing, fear of making messes and mistakes, and so on, but they are not beneficial per se.

Passion without anxiety

“You want enthusiasm, passion, love, curiosity, interest, and so on to inform your work and to exist right in the moment, in the performance moment or the creative moment, while at the same reducing (or eliminating) your fears, worries, anxieties, and so on.

“Creating is not an energy-neutral state: it is a high energy state, with, at its healthiest, enthusiasm and not anxiety driving its engine.”

From my post To create we need high energy – not anxiety.

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Also see Overcoming Stage Fright and other Anxiety Relief Solutions, and Self-esteem Products / Programs.
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Nervous excitement

“With any film and even theater, you never get over being scared and overwhelmed, because it’s a new character and that brings on a whole new set of circumstances.”

Alison Lohman is talking about one form of anxiety that actors experience, and may try to avoid or stifle.

But there can be value in that kind of energy, she adds: “That’s the exciting part of it – it’s those nerves that bring you to a higher level and makes you more hyper-aware. It makes your performance better.” [Quotes from Hollywood Reporter]

Anticipatory anxiety

Psychologist Eric Maisel notes in his book Performance Anxiety that fear can show up even before an event like an audition, and this anticipatory anxiety may be hidden, so you don’t even recognize it.

You decide, for example, not to go to the audition, telling yourself, “Oh, I’m not right for that role,” or “I’m sure that part’s pre-cast,” or “That director’s never liked me.”

You’re as worthy as they come

As many people point out, acting is not for the faint-hearted.

Author Monroe Mann [book: The Theatrical Juggernaut: The Psyche of the Star] says, “If you want to succeed in this business where the supply for actors is high and the demand is low, you better get any trace of negativity or pessimism out of your system from the outset…

“If you don’t think you are just as good, and just as worthy of success, as the stars, then you are doing yourself a grave disservice.”

Varieties of treatments

Anxiety can show up in various ways; it is not just a matter of stage fright, and it can undermine your self-concept, self assurance and drive.

If it is too strong, maybe you should look into getting help: cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, or nutritional supplements can all be helpful.

Related pages:
Anxiety relief products/programs
Anxiety relief books
Supplements
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A recent newspaper interview [Shedding the wings, by Amy Kaufman, Los Angeles Times, July 9, 2007; photo: Myung J. Chun] notes that “she wants to major in something ‘basic, like English,’ rather than garnering further training in the arts.”

“I didn’t like being around that competitive energy that comes with that,” she says of one summer spent in an acting class. “All those musical theater kids that think they’re gonna be the next Kristin Chenoweth.

“They’d sit there and they’d prep their songs endlessly with so much thought. I just knew what my song was about and I came in and sang it, and the teacher went, ‘That’s what you all should be doing, right there.’ And I didn’t outline the song or this and that. You just have to stop thinking sometimes.”

That perception was also articulated by Jennifer Lehman, a film acting teacher, consultant and scriptwriter, in our interview: “Our thinking mind is different than our feeling mind, and if we start thinking, we shut down creative expression – for actors, anyway.”

Lehman thinks a creative experience “is a very full experience, multidimensional. But if you’re making a mental choice about something, then your experience becomes limited to only that. A creative experience has many layers all at the same time. If you’re trying to juggle a bunch of ideas, it’s going to limit your availability to feeling states.”

Related page: Awareness – thinking
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James Mangold: “There are some actors who, when they feel insecure in a scene, will just turn up the volume or the energy to try to electrocute themselves. You’ve probably been in scenes when you find yourself in a place where you don’t believe yourself. What do you do?”

Liv Tyler: “I just stop and go stand in a dark corner and breathe as deeply as I can into my stomach. [laughs] I know this is going to sound crazy, because I’m not religious at all, but sometimes I pray. I just say, “Please help me. Guide me to feel what this person’s feeling, and help me to feel real, feel connected.”
~ ~ ~

James Mangold: “I think the biggest struggle we all have sometimes – and I have to remind myself of it too – is to be what you are instead of what you want to be. I’m not talking about being an actor or a director or whatever, but rather about the pressure we put on ourselves to be the kind of movie director or kind of actor or rock singer that inspired us, because you’ll never quite be that person – you’re always you… The people who are really happy always seem to know exactly what they are.” [laughs]

Liv Tyler: “But nobody ever feels that way all the time. I’m always amazed when people.. right in front of you are completely open and vulnerable.. I love seeing that. All my favorite people have that; there’s something so human about them. Diane Keaton has that. It’s so amazing to watch her because she’s so sweet and real, and there’s a vulnerability to her, but she’s also this amazing tough cookie and such a professional.”
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James Mangold: “As a kid there was a lot of drama you had to witness and be part of… that may have enabled you to reach the other side that much sooner than most people.”

Liv Tyler: “It sounds so cheesy, but I feel like right now, for the first time in my life, I’m discovering who I am… And, yeah, I’m incredibly complicated and I’m filled with anxiety and all sorts of stuff, but it’s amazing because I’m able to hide it.

“For example, I have horrible stage fright, and people always say they can’t tell. I think for a lot of my life I’ve been able to process negative things in a positive way. I’ve been so blessed in my life in so many ways. I’ve had a lot of really traumatic or strange things happen to me, but I wake up every day and feel so grateful and lucky to be doing what I’m doing.”

[Interview mag., April 2007; photo by Max Vadukul]

Related Talent Development Resources pages:

Article: Breathing Out Stage Fright

Also see Self-esteem Products / Programs.

Also see Anxiety Relief Products / Programs.

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celebrity and personal growth, artistic confidence, anxiety products, self confidence products

Kate Bosworth [photo from "Superman Returns"] thinks “all actors are insecure.. I certainly am… I think almost all artists are insecure. I don’t ever watch myself and think, ‘That was great, I hit it out of the park!’ Never…

“One of the things I love most about this job is that I don’t feel like you can ever master it. I think you’re always learning and you’re always growing, and even when you think you’re at the top of your game, there’s always something else that you can do and learn.

“If I wanted to fall into a niche where I knew I was really good at something, I could do that and I could feel secure there. But I don’t want to do that, I want to do things that challenge me, that I will be scared doing, because I’m not the best at it.” [Fashion Wire Daily, Jun 22 2006]

Alison Lohman – the value of insecurity

Alison Lohman has also commented on the value of not being secure: “With any film and even theater, you never get over being scared and overwhelmed, because it’s a new character and that brings on a whole new set of circumstances.

“That’s the exciting part of it – it’s those nerves that bring you to a higher level and makes you more hyper-aware. It makes your performance better.” [Hollywood Reporter, Mar 5 2003]

High anxiety

If insecurity or anxiety is too high, though, it can interfere with your creativity and performance.

Some very talented actors such as Kim Basinger have had therapy or other medical treatment, and found they not only felt better, but could work more freely and passionately.

And there are many self-help programs to help people deal with anxiety.

> Related posts:
Developing confidence / Stage Fright / Anxiety and acting

> Related article: Being Creative and Self-critical – by Douglas Eby

Also see Anxiety Relief Products / Programs and Self-esteem Products / Programs.

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actors insecurity, actors and anxiety, acting and therapy, performance anxiety products

Many people, maybe most, want to avoid anxiety, fear and other “stressful” feelings. Except for the occasional roller coaster ride.

But talented actors (and other artists) often use those kinds of feelings to guide and energize their work.

Julia Stiles [left] says she chooses projects based on “ways I need to be stretched as an actor. I wouldn’t want to keep doing the same thing over and over again, which is one reason I wanted to do this play [Fran's Bed].

“I wanted go back onstage in a way that’s different from anything I’ve ever experienced before. That’s the way I look at movies, too. I think you can get into a comfort zone as an actor and I try to break out of that.” [broadway.com interview]

Fear can be energizing

Sandra Bullock has said, “I don’t do anything anymore that feels safe. If it doesn’t scare the crap out of you, then you’re not doing the right thing.”

Audra McDonald thinks “The most important thing for me as an actress is to be fearless and to challenge myself. Acting in TV and film forces me outside of my comfort zone.”

Choreographer Twyla Tharp thinks “terror, loathsome as it is, is very energizing. To channel that, to call it excitement, enthusiasm, curiosity, maybe that’s not a bad thing.”

When fear is disabling

Sometimes, of course, fear or anxiety such as stage fright can be disrupting or disabling if it gets too extreme. It may be a matter of perspective, of how you label and think about your inner experiences.

But creativity coach Eric Maisel, PhD notes in his article “The way that we say things…” that we have “our little linguistic tricks” that can hide anxiety that we really would be better off dealing with – “tricks” like saying, “I can’t see the point in auditioning for that – I’m just not the type.”

Related book: The Performance Anxiety Workbook – by Eric Maisel

Also see Anxiety Relief Products / Programs.

Also see Self-esteem Products / Programs.

anxiety self-help, anxiety products, anxiety and actors, anxiety relief products

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performance anxiety book, anxiety products, actors and anxiety, embracing your fear

Cherry Jones [left], earned a Tony nomination for her acting in a stage production of A Moon for the Misbegotten [2002] but was “nearly paralyzed by a profound case of stage fright” according to a Time Out New York article.

She said it was from “Living up to the greatest performance I have ever seen” [Colleen Dewhurst's, in 1973] and felt she was “wrestling with this ghost. It’s creative panic.”

Julianna Margulies

Julianna Margulies said about being in the play Ten Unknowns at Lincoln Center in 2001, “We [actors] are such a sorry lot. We’re all so insecure.. Earlier this week, I went home after rehearsal and basically cried on my pillow, saying, What have I gotten myself into? I’m not good enough to do this play.”

She came back the next morning and reported Donald Sutherland looked at the rest of the cast and said, “I’ve been vomiting.”

These examples indicate some of the aspects of stage fright, or performance anxiety: it isn’t a matter of your level of skill or talent, and it can be related to other emotional challenges such as impostor feelings.

Comparing yourself

Actor and coach Wendy Braun [wendybraun.com], in her article “How To Stay Up During Down Times” [Back Stage West backstage.com Mar30-Ap5 2006] talks about the “roller coaster of emotions” that actors experience, and asks, “Where have you been giving your attention?…

“Remember that what you focus on expands. Comparing yourself to other actors’ success can put you in a state of panic and lacking.”

Those feelings and ways of thinking can fuel stage fright and other kinds of anxiety about our abilities and ourselves.

Linda Dessau on strategies

In her article Breathing Out Stage Fright, Linda Dessau of Genuine Coaching Services notes that stage fright “comes in many different forms. For some, it’s a nervous energy that disappears as soon as they begin performing, or a familiar sensation that’s always under the surface but feels manageable most of the time.

“For others, it’s so debilitating that they can’t get through an audition to even be part of a performance.”

In another article, Preparing For Performance, she suggests shifting the way you think about being on stage: “Imagine the performance as a way for you to wrap up your most precious gift – the expression of your creativity – and deliver it from your heart to the heart of each and every person who’s there to receive it… now the performance IS NOT ABOUT YOU. It’s about your gift and doing your best to deliver it… and creating an experience that other people can take away and cherish.”

Here are more resources :

Performance Anxiety: A Workbook for Actors, Musicians, Dancers and Anyone Else Who Performs in Public – by Eric Maisel, PhD.

Free ebook “Anxiety Tips” available from ConquerAnxiety.

Related post: Anxiety and acting

Anxiety Relief Products / Programs

Anxiety relief books.

Self-esteem Products / Programs.

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performance anxiety products, imposter phenomenon, anxiety products, performance anxiety book

In a recent interview, Philip Seymour Hoffman [Best Actor Oscar nominee for “Capote”] admitted he used drugs and alcohol earlier in his life. A lot. “It was all that stuff. It was anything I could get my hands on. I liked it all.” He got sober, he says, because “You get panicked. I was 22, and I got panicked for my life.”

An exceptionally talented actor, Hoffman is far from alone: many of us use and abuse. According to federal statistics within the last few years, more than 19 million Americans age 12 or older, about 8 percent of the population, are illicit drug users; 121 million are alcohol drinkers and about 26 million men and 22 million women are smokers.

Addiction psychologist Marc F. Kern, Ph.D., says “Altering one’s state of consciousness is normal” and that a destructive habit or addiction is “mostly an unconscious strategy – which you started to develop at a naive, much earlier stage of life – to enjoy the feelings it brought on or to help cope with uncomfortable emotions or feelings. It is simply an adaptation that has gone awry.”

William H. Macy

William H. Macy, also an Oscar nominee [in 1997, for “Fargo”] once commented, “Nobody became an actor because he had a good childhood.”

While that may not be literally true, many actors (and other people too, of course) have had painful lives, and use substances to cope.

Tatum O’Neal

For example Tatum O’Neal, an Oscar winner at age 10, says in her autobiography (“A Paper Life”) that growing up she had to deal with her mentally unstable mother and volatile and unpredictable father, in an environment of drugs, neglect, and physical and mental abuse. By age 20, she was addicted to cocaine.

Psychiatrist Leon Wurmser, M.D. says “Anxiety of an overwhelming nature and the emotional feelings of pain, injury, woundedness, and vulnerability appear to be a feature common to all types of compulsive drug use. Child abuse is, in the simplest and strongest terms, one of the most important etiologic factors for later drug abuse.”

Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp has said he felt so intimidated by his celebrity status during his early career, that he drank. “I’d go to functions and back in those days I literally had to be drunk to be able to speak and get through it. I guess I was trying not to feel anything. My drug of choice back then was alcohol more than anything.”

> continued in article Actors and Addiction

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acting and addictions, entertainment psychology, acting and pain, actors and addiction